Which
'Fellowship of the Ring'
Villain Are You?

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First, though, here's your "Fellowship of the Ring" Villain badge.
You're on your honor not to cheat and take the wrong one.
Oh, hell. You're a villain. Cheat if you want.


You are one of Middle-Earth's oldest and biggest badasses.
When anyone tries to start an argument as to whether
you have wings, they better watch out for your fiery temper.

Advice: Don't piss off old guys with sticks.

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You are a ghost that dwells in the hills,
best known for your disembodied hand trick.
And for being left out of the movie.

Advice: Don't leave sharp objects near your prisoners.

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Possibly the largest villain in the whole epic story,
you're fond of giving travelers the cold shoulder for
absolutely no reason whatsoever. Meanie.

Advice: Well, hell, you're a mountain . . .
people might try to mess with you,
but they're not going to get very far.

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You're a hobbit gone bad.
Apparently you can be redeemed
of the corruption of the Ring,
but considering you murdered your best friend
to get the Ring in the first place, one has to wonder.

Advice: Try Sam's taters. They're not bad.

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You are an evil tree. What more can I say?
It's ironic Merry and Pippin got to be such good friends
with Treebeard after you tried to snack on them.

Advice: I'd advise you to keep away from Tom Bombadil,
except . . . you can't go anywhere.

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You're that evil little piece of jewelry
that corrupts almost everything it touches
and recites poetry in the
Black Tongue on its days off. Cool.

Advice: You'd have been better off with Gollum.

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They say your kind used to be elves. What happened?
Three letters: HMO.
If the elves had gotten such lousy contacts
and dental work, they'd be pissed off, too.

Advice: When sent to look for halflings,
be sure you get a detailed description.

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You fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book,
taking that ring of power from Sauron,
but scaring the piss out of hobbits
almost makes up for being undead.

Advice: Don't go swimming near Rivendell.

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You are the champion double-agent of Middle-Earth.
And you have all those spiffy wizard powers.
And a voice that could chill the Balrog.

Advice: Ripping down the trees
around Isengard was a bad idea.
Forget the Ents -- the Earth Liberation Front
is planning a protest.

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Well look at you.
Not much you can say against a giant, evil eyeball
who very nearly took over Middle-Earth.

Advice: Don't underestimate the little furry guys.

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You're a hard one, aren't you?
Especially if you get caught out after sunrise.

Advice: Your chain changes from asset to liability
in the presence of dodging dwarves and lithe elves.

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You are an evil squid.
The giant calamari of Middle-Earth.
Oh well, at least you got to feel up Frodo.

Advice: Keep your tentacles to yourself unless you want
an angry gardener to have a hack at you.

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